Navigating Vulnerability

Vulnerability. 

This has been such a hot topic for the last few years and I have been trying to figure out exactly what being vulnerable means and its role in business, leadership and in life. 

Brené Brown is an expert in this topic and talks about something called the “vulnerability hangover” to describe a cycle of shame and fear that pops up right after we take an emotional risk. 

I’m going to go out on the limb and say we have very likely all had a vulnerability hangover before whether that was at work, with friends or family members, on a date etc. 

You know…where you were really honest, you put yourself out there and shared something, and then afterwards you overthought and maybe even criticised yourself for what you said, how you said, and what you sounded like. 

The questions I’ve been asking myself as I’m exploring this theme in my own life and business are what is that line and how do we learn where that line is? 

What is the difference between vulnerably and oversharing or not setting boundaries for ourselves.

I am a huge proponent of being open and honest about your experiences and speaking your truth, but I also am a huge proponent of having your own back, setting boundaries, and not abandoning yourself in the process. 

I don’t have all the answers around this and it’s a complicated topic, but I’m testing and learning and here’s what ideas have helped me:

1. Consider sharing if you believe someone else will benefit by hearing your story.

2. Finding the “vulnerability sweet spot” may sometimes mean over-doing it or under-doing it in order to learn where that sweet spot is. It is imperative that we are kind to ourselves no matter what we say/do, and wherever we land on that spectrum. Shaming ourselves is never the way forward. 

3. If your own emotional health is dependent on other people’s reactions or responses to what you’re sharing, it may be a sign you’re not ready to open up yet and that’s okay. 

4. Ask yourself why you’re considering sharing or opening up about about something. For example…Is it to connect with people? Is it to show people your humanness? Will it be cathartic to share? Is it to “seem” vulnerable? Is it to fill the silence? Why is it and decide the right way forward for you based on your answer. 

5. Listen to and trust your instincts on what you want to share with others - our instincts tell us so much.